Archive for April, 2011

Number 83 on the list of things I am irrationally afraid of.

I’m afraid of calling a pap smear a pap schmear.

As most people know, a pap smear is a test women are supposed to get regularly to screen for cervical cancer.  I don’t know why, but I have to really fight the urge to call it a pap schmear when I’m in the gynecologist’s office, and I feel like it would be really embarrassing if I did. Maybe it is because it is such a dreadful word to begin with.

So I just call it a pap test, thereby avoiding potential shame.

It’s like Calvary and Calgary—I know that one is a place in Canada that hosted a Winter Olympics and one is the place in the Bible where Jesus was crucified, but I can’t remember which is which, especially when I’m on the spot. So I just mumble the end of the word on the rare occasions in which I’m called on to refer to one of those things.

What I like about being married is all the sleeping.

Apparently, when I got married four weeks ago, I was struck with a strange sleeping sickness.

Since the wedding, as soon as I get in bed, I fall asleep immediately. I start to read a book and three minutes later a luxurious and complete drowsiness takes me. It’s like an invisible fairy throws sleep dust over me. My eyelids sag, despite my efforts to keep them open, and the book falls from my hand. I drool.

As a chronic insomniac, I’m finding it kind of lovely.

At first I chalked it up to jet lag and busy days of sightseeing on the honeymoon. But then, a week after coming home, it was still happening. I was getting plenty of sleep, so I started to wonder if there was something wrong with me. I even took a pregnancy test, just to make sure.

But then I started to wonder…is this just how sleeping is for normal people? Am I just relaxed? So far, it might be the best part of being married. I’ll take it as a good sign, anyway.

Bhutan is charming right down to the royal crown.

I just returned from a two-week trip to Bhutan. Bhutan was very interesting, and very charming. I especially like the royal crown (shown here on current King Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck), which is the only one I’ve ever seen that appears to have a sock puppet attached.